Most people think the hardest part of sales is convincing someone to buy. In my experience, the hardest part is simply starting.
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That moment before you make the call, send the message, or ask for the meeting can feel surprisingly heavy. It is strange when you think about it, because selling is something we do every day. We sell ideas to colleagues, plans to our teams, and holiday destinations to our families. Yet the moment the word “sales” enters the conversation, many people recoil from it. We imagine pressure, rejection, awkward calls, and uncomfortable outcomes. I used to feel the same way.
If I am honest, if I knew at the beginning of my career what I know now, I would have approached sales very differently. I would have taken the stress out of it much earlier. The good news is that selling does not have to feel uncomfortable, forced, or transactional. When you understand a few key principles, it becomes something far simpler. In fact, it can even become enjoyable.
Over the past twenty five years working in sales, sales leadership, and building businesses, I have come to believe that the most important shift is psychological. It starts with intent. If your intent is clear and genuine, the fear around selling begins to disappear.
When I speak with a potential customer, I am only trying to answer two questions. Can I help them, and do they want that help. That is it. Once you are clear about your intent, everything else becomes easier. You are not trying to pressure someone. You are not trying to manipulate an outcome. You are simply exploring whether there is a fit. That clarity gives you confidence because nobody can argue with your intent. If your purpose is genuinely to help, you can stand comfortably behind every conversation you have.
The next mindset shift is understanding abundance. There are roughly two and a half million businesses in Australia. If one opportunity does not work out, you will survive. You were fine before the deal, and you will be fine after it. There are countless other companies, people, and opportunities to speak with. The moment you truly accept that, you remove a huge amount of pressure from yourself.
That leads directly to something that took me years to learn. Detachment from the outcome.
Early in my career I struggled with this. I would build a strong business case, demonstrate clear value, meet every requirement, and still hear a customer say no. That was difficult to accept. But eventually I realised something important. You can only offer what you offer, and you can only be who you are. If the fit is not right, the customer has every right to walk away.
Ironically, when you become comfortable with that reality, customers respond better. People do not enjoy buying from someone who feels desperate for the sale. They prefer dealing with someone who is confident in what they do and comfortable enough to walk away if the solution is not right. Detachment creates that confidence.
Another lesson I wish I had learned sooner is the importance of process. Many people in sales operate without one. They speak to a prospect, send a proposal, and hope something happens. Months later they say they have twenty proposals sitting out there but no decisions.
That is a stressful way to operate.
When I first start speaking with a potential customer, I explain the entire process. I walk them through exactly what will happen if we decide to work together. First we agree conceptually that solving a particular problem would be valuable. Then I go away and do the research. After that I return with a business case that confirms whether the numbers stack up or not. If the case works, we ask for a decision. If it does not work, we shake hands and move on.
This clarity matters. When the customer understands the process and agrees to it, nobody is surprised later. Expectations are aligned. Decisions become easier.
The final lesson I want to share is one that many people overlook completely. The most powerful source of new business is not cold outreach. It is referrals.
Think about it for a moment. Who is better at convincing someone to work with you than you are. It is not you. It is your existing customers.
A satisfied customer telling someone else about you carries a level of trust that you simply cannot create on your own. They can say things you cannot say about yourself. They can share their experience, explain the results, and reassure the next person that you are credible.
Research consistently shows that the vast majority of customers are willing to refer a supplier if they are asked. The problem is that most people never ask. And when they do ask, they do it in the least helpful way possible.
They say something vague like, “Do you know anyone who might need this?”
That question puts all the thinking onto the customer, and most people draw a blank. The better approach is to do the homework for them. Look at their LinkedIn connections. Look at companies they work with. Identify specific people and ask directly for an introduction.
Instead of asking for anyone, ask for someone.
That small change makes a huge difference.
Once the introduction happens, two things become critically important. First, follow up quickly. When someone introduces you, they are putting their reputation on the line. Responding promptly shows respect for that. Second, always report back on the outcome. Whether the conversation leads to business or not, the person who introduced you deserves to know what happened.
It sounds simple, but very few people do this. When you consistently follow up, thank people properly, and close the loop, something interesting happens. Those same people keep introducing you to others. You become someone they trust to represent them well.
At that point you are no longer relying on cold calls. Your network becomes a source of ongoing opportunity.
If you put these ideas together, selling becomes far less intimidating. Start with clear intent. Remember that the market is abundant. Detach from outcomes you cannot control. Build a clear process. And consistently ask for referrals.
None of this requires the gift of the gab. Sales is not about being the loudest person in the room or the smoothest talker. It is a discipline. It is something you can learn, practise, and improve over time.
And when you approach it this way, selling stops feeling like pressure. It starts feeling like helping people solve problems.
If this struck a chord, take half an hour this week and try one small experiment. Write down five current customers and think about who they could introduce you to. Make the call. Ask the question. You might be surprised what happens next.
And if you ever want to chat about sales, building a pipeline, or solving a specific challenge in your business, feel free to reach out. I am always happy to talk shop over a coffee or see you at the next Masterclass.